Someone took a freaking dump on a roll of toilet paper. Next to the toilet. No shit in the toilet. Just on the roll of toilet paper.
Hey when you come over to pick me up in the mornin bring a camera. This is going to be legendary. Don't knock.... They might cover up
woke up to 35 texts all saying im cheating on her
me and last nights hook up spent two hr. figuring out a reply we went with i love you..
My mom just walked in on me and my girlfriend about to have sex. All she said was "You're lookin like a fool with your pants on the ground.."
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
They told me you were taking cheese cube shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce... Is this true?
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
There are 144 bottles of wine in my mother's pantry. She just shrugged her shoulders and said it was for the wine pong tournament on Christmas Day.
You should have seen her, she looked like a skinny Jabba The Hutt
That literally makes no sense
Exactly
You know you were way drunk when you wake up at 7 AM halfway on a couch, tangled in a sheet with your shoes still on.
I wish there was an emoji for sad lady boners
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
It’s a prereq for med school, so I hope the professor likes blow jobs
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