Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
The cab driver just finished telling me how leaving community college after one month was the best desicion he ever made.
spring break forecast: sunny with a chance of shitshow
How could you not be happy? Its like "and then I found 5 dollars" but "and then I found a handle of vodka"
There's so much relief when you realize you wake up in your own bed
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
A sandwich with pizza as the bread. I love you.
YES WITH THE SQUARE KIND OF SLICES
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
It's kind of like, standing in a garage and pretending you're a car. Except you're naked.
iphones do not disturb setting is the biggest cock block to my 3am booty calls
If you've never yelled, "fuck you ray Lewis" in front of your 87 year old grandfather you haven't lived
As soon as he came we went to Dairy Queen. That drive through lady was very condescending about our "just fucked" ice cream.
We went camping and met these lesbians and now I have S'mores where there shouldn't be S'mores.
You looked at the bouncer while you pissed on the front door of the bar and said...who the fuck are you?
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
Randomize
