Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
I just saw a girl walking home wearing a tshirt, boxers, and cowboy boots. Thanks for having the decency to drive me to my car.
Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
He always grinds on me and is like "This is awesome because we're both Catholic!"
The difference between what I would do for a regular Klondike bar and an Oreo flavored Klondike bar is astounding
Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
it took you forty minutes to realize it was a gay bar.
I hurt. I blacked out in a onesie. Reevaluation needs to happen.
I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
I might have been the first person to be rolling balls at a referee seminar
fuck Derek. I choose weed. weed isn't angry and would never ask me to be someone I'm not.
The dog just shocked himself by peeing on Christmas lights, should I have saw that coming?
The kid with the ed hardy shirt put a bunch of random shit in the washer and turned it on. example: a hanger, the movie Chocolate with Johnny Depp, and your mom's cat
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
Randomize
