at the gym hungover with vodka in a water bottle. don't say i'm not fulfilling my resolutions
Just met someone from Jersey. No fist pumps or jagerbombs. Kind of disappointed...
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
I'm a big fan of your penis but I will not sit through an animated movie dedicated to it.
You made everyone who was on the patio sit on the floor and join your "ship" because you were the Captain. It was cool though. You let me be your 1st Mate.
Apparently he crashed because 3 different girls were trying to give him road head at the same time.
I'm not really made for random hookups.. i'm like a swan.. i don't wanna have random swan sex. i just wanna have one swan hubby and fly around the world together and eat bread that people throw at us..
Just remember my house smells of thick cut bacon and I have a big dick.
When we were eating pie last night, I dropped some, and not only did you not judge me for far surpassing the 5 second rule, you let me use your foot to sock mop with. You're a good friend.
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
I can't tell if my roommate is crying or having sex and the fact that there's anime in the background is only making this more confusing
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
im just letting you know I walked in on you with four different guys last night. a. you were all naked. b. they're all roommates
Randomize
