Also thongs make me have to fart a lot.
if socks could get pregnant i would have catholic amounts of kids
One of the mothers are the party said to me "All your friends are getting married, you're just getting drunk"
The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
We've been friends for six months, when do my benefits kick in?
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
I just realized my life is a timeline of drunken injuries.
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
I think I just ate eggs off of a plate covered in cocaine.
Tell me not to purchase 500 ball pit balls and a kiddy pool
No
I need to you to send me drugs via FedEx
Randomize
