SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
Thank you as well. My penis is starting a slow-clap right now.
I consider it a good night. I met Jimmy Buffet, who grabbed my ass, and I body-checked a toddler. She had it coming.
I want to let you in on my two latest life goals. Have a photograph of me squirting whipped cream into a midget's mouth, and have sex on a roof.
They're doing shots to celebrate every 15 minutes passing. You can come get them.
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
Like please, take your microdick and try to stick it someplace else. It is not welcome in my world.
If you get any calls give me a heads up. Im drinking rum in my underwear on the back porch.
The lady that was sitting beside me thought the best way to cheer herself up was to pet and ruffle my hair while crying and telling me her problems...
I'm more heavily invested in that tequila than you are
I danced shirtless on a platform with a fucking stripper who went to MIT
You proposed a left ass cheek firmness contest and got a surprising number of contestants. Then you ruined it by groping someone who wasn't playing and awarding them first place.
Come cuddle! I'll be passed out somewhere in the library. It'll be like a scavenger hunt!
I got sriracha sauce on my mask while I was eating fast food, now wearing it makes me hungry
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