Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
Mr. Last Night just informed me I told him to be very quiet when he left this morning and high-fived him as a goodnight kiss. Drunk me is slutty and manly.
I'm not high anymore, I decide when it's done.
You just projectile vomited on my dad across the table at waffle house.
Do you think he can smell the vodka?
woke up with food on the counter from chipotle, taco bell, green cactus, and on the border take out. explain?
you were trying to get this Spanish chick to sleep with you. you were showing her how much you "loved her native food."
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
gona look into getting a tetanus booster and carrying an adrenaline shot...its going off this weekend
Well, the night started out with you ALMOST falling out of a tree. Then we went back to the tree after about 9 shots and you DID fall out of the tree.
I woke up this morning to find my closet lacking 98% of my clothes and a text from my male roommate saying your dresses squeeze my genitals
don't take offense to this but at the strip club tonight I legit believed one girl was you. almost hopped on stage and freaked out at you. you're a beauty.
Got home. Somebody tried to sell me weed on the street. I've never had to try so little to find a dealer before.
Randomize
