those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
If there was a god I would have a big mac right now, but i don't
Apparently she held up my head the entire 40 minutes, convincing the cab driver that I was okay
If I threw up, how do I still have the same piece of gum in my mouth from the beginning of the night?
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
Sorry I couldn't make it...got a scrambled voicemail, all I heard was "Bring the dildo"
Doing the walk of shame at 1 AM. Stumbled across a rave. This night is epic.
I can get there in 20, one question, Drress Code? Stripper Lite (make up may require an additional 5-10 minutes), Suggestive Professor (professor Kamil's cleavage ain't got nothing on me), Daywear, Dyke (and trust me you ain't seen dyke), or Exactly What I'm Wearing Right Now. (all of the above may arrive under a coat and are subject to my level of sobriety. Which is currently like nonexistent).--xoxo you know you love me, Gossip Girl.
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
i am rolling on molly so fucking hard i want to do 300 cartwheels
Bro I just got a hand job playing tiny wings.. Hell yea
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
I got kicked out of the E.R. for saying "balls".
Randomize
