I'm giving you permission to use the abortion money to pay for your DUI.
P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
I barely even remember him. He is just a distant beard in my past.
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country.
Cockoligist
Yes, one may refer to me as that.
I should make business cards.
you told me your favorite colors were "pink" "no pants" and "Mexican food"
someone snapchatted me a porn of two guys dressed up as pterodactyls double teaming a girl
A huge penis doesn't warm the soul. Or that's what I've had to tell myself.
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
I'm not going to waste the next hour of my life writing a diplomatic email explaining that she's bitch. I have Parks and Rec to watch.
What are you gunna do with your life today
put it back together
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
Randomize