I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
How am I?!! The turkey is dry as shit, I'm watching football in low def and there's no beer b/c everyone is in aa. Fuck giving thanks.
Some guy in lab is humming along to a Sara Barrilles song. Or maybe I'm just hearing the song echoing in his huge, gaping vagina.
I did the walk of shame in nothing but a sleeping bag and now I'm on my way to pick up plan B. Let's not make a habit of this.
Sounds like a good New Years
I'm already too high to be publicly presentable. I just looked at myself in the mirror without my sunglasses. Debated contacts. Said aloud "But I'm nothing without my sunglasses."
I mean it's like...I'm sorry I slept with your boyfriend but is it my fault that he failed to mention you when I was giving him head in the Dave and Busters bathroom?
There is so much wrong with that sentence
Yeah there really shouldn't be a bar at D&B's...shit gets real
This is the Taco Bell dump we've all been waiting for.
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
If anyone remembers any details of tonight please address concerns to my lawyer. This is a mass text.
This is not my bathroom and these are not my pants
Cancun blessed me with a drinking problem
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