Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
I feel like sober is me a distant relative that I only see on christmas..
You closed the sidewalk off to pedestrians last night. With a glitter covered safety cone
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
I mean, it's free alcohol, to turn it down would be a crime against humanity.
I'm making celebratory pizza rolls. They're a lot like regular pizza rolls, but without the taste of shame.
Oh god I may vomit into the teacup of debauchery.
Reading my bank statement stoned makes me feel like an adult.
I convinced every single one of my cousins to bring me a glass of wine. I was the alcoholic queen and they were my subjects.
can you please not set my house on fire for once???
WHO GIVES HANDJOBS AT 8 IN THE FUCKING MORNING
we panicked because we couldn't find you anywhere, but then we found you tripping in the bathtub with Marie's cat. there was no water. you thought there was water, though.
I went to a party last night....I stole all of their ornaments and the toaster oven.
im shaving my vagina and listening to frank sinatra, im coming over after
Randomize
