your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
I couldn't help thinking that my sock monkey was judging me
When I don't want to forget things I put them on my cigs.
C smoking isn't all bad
You're just jealous because you lost me and I ended up at another party licking Marshmallow Fluff bikinis off of lesbians.
I actually bought food at McDonald's as an apology for what I was about to do to their bathroom.
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
If we don't have crazy animal sex tonight at least twice, I'll know he's cheating on me.
Who wouldn't want crazy animal sex with you?!
A cheater.
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
Morning! Im using your rent money to snort percocet.
I have loved her ever since she went down on my first wife
...take a good look at your butthole.... then try matching it to any paint color on the Benjamin Moore color wheel....not gonna happen...
Next time I pee on a car, I'll text you.
I woke up with a bunch of jolly ranchers and an eight ball in my purse. Successful
Randomize
