He slapped my ass and hummed the jello theme song, which was followed by an overly loud "IT'S ALIVE!"
do you think having her use a clorox disinfecting wipe on her vagina will keep me from getting her herpes if I don't have a condom?
They're here. One showed up as a slutty Crayola, and I think the other came as The Fat Friend.
i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
They left me stranded on the side of the road with a table and five gallons of water. They said it was all I really needed to survive. People are staring
foreskin is a definite game changer
I'm gonna make some noodles and go to bed. Hopefully I don't fall into the stove or something.
ALMOST WRECKED MY SCOOTER. DAVE FRANCO HAS A TWIN AMD HE GOES HERE
I really should have gone with the man who kept offering me cocaine. Why did I chose the German!? STUPID!
When confronted with a choice of going home or fucking the band ALWAYS FUCK THE BAND!!
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
A penis isn't a time share. I want to own not rent.
Shut up. The only friend I need in life is Jim Beam because life is meaningless.
I was doing good, then they gave me free shots
And you tried to get me to have sex with you in our Harry potter closet lol
Randomize
