He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
today's thought: if you're naming your fb album "wEdDiNg dAy!!!!!!" you're too young to get married
im drunk. people are steering their children away from me. whatever it is that you called for, I assure you that I don't care. have a good night
A zombie called me motorboat central while participating in an auction to motorboat my tits. he then proceeded to propose, insisting that he makes alot money.
Bring condoms and burritos. The rest will fall into place
On the train at 650am after a night of clubbing and running away from a new zealander who was buying us beers but also licking windows
You've gotta make sure the carpets match the drapes, though.
I am not dying my bush blue.
I ACCIDENTALLY HOOKED UP WITH A GUY WHO HAS A NICHOLAS CAGE POSTER ABOVE HIS BED I CANT HANDLE LIFE.
The universe is either telling you 1. you make terrible decisions or 2. its time to let go of your hatred of Cage.
HE LITERALLY JUST PEED IN MY ROOM IDK WHAT TO DO HELP
Like actually I will be single and sad and lonely for ever. Cheese will be my life partner. Robot sex is my future.
Spoiler alert: my plans for Halloween are going to make our dealer's birthday look like a bunch of mormon ladies having a scrapbooking circle
I'm over being sad. I'm now onto thinking about all the ways in which he is a total fuckwaste
I can't believe we broke the fucking lamp.
*i* can't believe believe we broke the lamp fucking.
Next time you decide to post pictures of yourself in your underwear on facebook, please don't tag me as your bulge.. My mom spent 10 minutes looking for me in that picture. I had to tell her I was hiding.
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
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