Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower
She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task
stuffed animals make me feel really maternal.
I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
70 feet underwater and I sharted my wetsuit, Tide pen won't clean this up.
just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
I wish there was a lawn mower version of Roomba so I could just drink and cheer it on from the stoop.
Fell down the metal stairs and some guy tried to fight me after you left. I fell asleep with cadbury eggs in my mouth too.
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
I just climbed out the passenger side of my car because there was a spider on mine. I'm doing adulthood right
At first I was nervous about leaving him my undergraduate legacy, but apparently he made out with lesbians, woke up with hickeys and a different shirt. My family name will survive.
When the sex is so good, you need three fans and have to chug a gallon of water after
Just wiped the ashes off my forehead before he came over to have sex. Definitely going to hell.
I finally figured out how to tighten my bra straps and I feel like a god
and idk now I have nine bags of lettuce in my fridge
Randomize
