can't come. weird drunk guy passed out on couch. long story, tell u later.
wtf. wake him up, call him a cab, get over here!
i just want to make sure he doesn't die. or rob me. plus it's facinating, he's faceplant on the arm of my sofa.
maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
after he handcuffed me and put me in the back seat, "Mrs. Officer" started playing, I thought maybe this could be my escape
i woke up, turned over, and noticed an assortment of knives stuck in my wall. i should prob stop drinking
i couldnt tell she was wearing a bumpit until she started giving me head
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...
i feel we're the only people who'd use nyquil sexually
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
Woke up in a bathtub with both of my legs broken. How was your night?
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
I dont need your sympathy!!!! Just a fifth of vodka and gummy bears...lots and lots of gummy bears to take my agression out on.
was having sex but got distracted... he instragramed a pic of his crotch
Yeah well I fucked my ex on a sink last night soooo booty calls for us all
Randomize
