The ticket read "Found nude in a tree"
girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
sorry I didn't call you. I had your number saved as "girl that offered bj but didn't follow thru".
the problem with open bar is i never know what to get
did you really just start a sentence with "the problem with open bar is..."
Fuckbuddy couldn't meet, so she's trying to find a substitute to come fuck me. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
found scuba porn. totally not sexy. life continues to disappoint.
Wedding cake is always the best dance partner. In the corner. With a jack and coke. And while I'm crying. Listening to "Almost Paradise".
I can't wait to get home and brush the fuck outta my teeth.
Literally.
I don't give a shit if you judge. This isn't about you or anyone else. This is about me and my chicken tenders.
And you tried to get me to have sex with you in our Harry potter closet lol
Started dabbing in blow again because he always hated that I did it. Yuh I’m doing drugs but at least I’m doing me?
I can’t tell if I have feelings for him or if my vagina does.
Standing naked in my kitchen making nachos. I love my youth.
And it only took a fake engagement ring, a condom and a bowl of weed
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