we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
don't ever try to run hungover. just puked mid-run in front of an old couple that were going for a walk. they were horrified.
We've reached that awkward stage of the relationship where he's in love with me when he's drunk, but sober him is still afraid of commitment.
Im sending over a girl who thinks youre in the next twilight movie
your the best winggirl ever
On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five
He started crying and showing me pictures of his ex. she was really pretty. It's an honor to have shared a penis with her.
His balls looked like two miss shaped chicken nuggets
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
Getting a vibrator would be like waving the white flag of surrender in this war against my vagina and its hormone army.
High me just had to pick the lock on my sisters room because I locked my vodka in there. I love vacation.
I promised him we could have sex if he would let me take him to the hospital to get stitches.
Do you know how awkward it is to get a dick pic while working at babies r us?
Was reaching for my vibrator this morning out of my nightstand and strained my neck muscle. I'm getting so old.
I really would enjoy sexual intercourse with you.
Most formal booty call EVER
He’s 21. The president of his frat. I’m 28 and have a career!
Do it. It’s a noble position.
Randomize
