your boyfriend is drunk and yelling to the bar that he loves his cats
Stealing vibrators from Walmart together was when I realized you'd be my Maid of Honor.
oh and then you called a time out with your penis
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
It's home.......I'm going to the store in disguise to get skittles and cake frosting. Then I'll eat the frosting in a dark corner while I cry and wonder what I did to deserve this.
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
And now we should drink to that moment where you realize you didn't exactly think things through.
Just when I thought he had turned a new leaf, I see a "Let me get you pregnant" shirt in his closet
showering high made me realize that i should seriously reconsider my career path... id be a damn good hair shampooer & head massager
IT IS EARTH DAY, RECORD STORE DAY, 4/20 EVE, AND SATURDAY ALL AT THE SAME TIME!
He fucked me in his tour van, I feel like an official groupie.... Except I don't even listen to his band.
Look I'm really high right now, and if I were to leave this house, it would be for the sole purpose of getting an ice cream sandwich. So can you please just do it.
I havent moved from the couch and I'm licking peanut butter from a spoon, I'm a beautiful person.
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