I just had to sit down with an 11 year old who threatened to dick slap a girl.
Reason #1 for no sex outdoors: Mosquito bites. Awkward, awkward mosquito bites.
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
Just saw all the pictures from the party. I'm wearing a different shirt in every single one.
The strippers from this weekend suck at words with friends
My dream had 1 penis and 2 pizzas in it. Priorities?
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
Also, I pretty much need an IV of fluids straight to my soul
Either she's trying to smother me and failing, or she just has a really bad sense of where her tits should go.
THEYRE FUCKING GOLD
Are you talking about the color of my tits or the quality of my nudes cause both are
Because talking after sexting is equivalent to cuddling after sex
he took a fucking pitcher of koolaid and vodka to the bath with him... i wake up from my blackout to his roomate screaming cause he spilled it and passed out in the middle of a blood red tub. she thought he killed himself. jesus christ its only the first day of break and i already regret coming home
What did you do with the dog when you went into the club?
coat checked
Cockblock successful. That's for pouring nacho cheese on my flatscreen, asshole.
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