His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
My professor just gave everyone in the class extra credit... except for the kid wearing the Cubs hat
It's Friday afternoon and I'm drunk. This is how I cope.
Im dating a 38 year old who's lap I can fit in. Tell me I don't have daddy issues.
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
I know it's like I wanna bring somebody fun who I haven't drunkenly expressed my feelings for. Or hooked up with. It's a struggle.
On my way home from the dentist. Was going to call and see if you would like to wake and bake, then remembered my sister is an adult
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
This bar smells like your ball sack. In a weird way I miss you.
After my second liter of German beer, nothing D-cup or larger is safe near me.
This weekend I was almost blinded by a cumshot to the eye, so happy Labor Day I guess
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
DO IT!
It's totally a relationship. we have sex in other people's beds, watch mad men while high and get drunk on his teammates' beer. don't you dare stomp on my dreams with your societal judgments
Nothing like an afternoon walk of shame across campus on parent's weekend. Damn.
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
Randomize
