Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
I threw up red last night... I wanted to pinch myself because it wasn't green.
Would it help you get over me if I told you that I had unprotected sex last night?
stop bragging. last time i got laid i got double pink eye, and it was so not worth it
I just had a contest with the toilet to see who could hold their breath longest.
I won
So I'm at that stage in my life where I am stalking my stalker just to get laid
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
Hot Damn Cinnamon Schnapps make me feel like the sun is punching me in the face and a bear is sleeping inside me.
Did I mention I hooked up with another country star? I think I need some sort of trophy for each time, yah know? Or like a sash and I win a badge or patch for each person. Like a slutty Girl Scout.
Watching a bear prancing around in a tiara is worth a loss of bar time.
But I did discover that he's totally okay with going down on me while I eat taco bell so that's a plus, right?
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
Randomize
