Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
She told me at midnight she would blow me harder than a new years party kazoo
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
It's been five and a half years since she and my brother stopped dating. I feel like that's a long enough grace period. Going for it.
second attempt at shower sex: failed after the water turned orange bc of a fire up the street. this is just not meant to be
you stumbled up the stairs in your heels, pulled 23 one-dollar bills out of your bra and then went and puked in the toilet. didnt say a single thing to me the whole time
Drinking franzia alone at noon watching a cheese themed episode of "The Chew" I'm ready to admit I need a job.
If you're wondering why you have playpen balls it's because we stopped at chuckie cheese on the way home.
I have poison ivy and a broken finger. Don't have a threesome in the woods.
Text me if something catches fire and I will put pants on
Something I never want to forget. I'm in a porta potty and she is outside knocking on the door going "You're a queen. You're a queen. Never think any different"
while giving me head, she stopped, looked up at me smiling and said "ill never be able to look at bananas the same way again" and then went back to work.
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
Got any extra dick over there? I’m running low
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