I'm going to jail i love you
Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
I just came up with the perfect plan. Once i'm a dentist i'm going to offer dad a million dollars to divorce mom.
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
I don't give a shit about soccer but I'm really excited about drinking at 7 in the morning
The fact that both my ribs are severely bruised from shoving flasks in my bra might be a validation of my mothers alcoholic accusation
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
There is soup leaking out of my nose nothing in life has prepared me for this moment
I need a Xanax. A Veggie Delight. And exhibition style sex.
The way I see it, everyone on campus has a fake, but I'm the only person who actually makes beer in their dorm.
OMFG "ASS" JUST STARTED PLAYING ON MY PHONE VIA PANDORA AS IM IN THE CAR WITH A CONGRESSMAN FUCKKKK
I got back from work this morning after working the night shift to find an NFL player scaling the side of our apartment...from your window. He just took sneaking out to all new level. Care to explain?
I think that about sums it up, actually.
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
Can you send me the pic of me puking with a quesadilla on my shoulder
I want to get a list going called "D list celebs I've kissed"
Randomize
