You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
OMG! Someone dumped chocolate soft-serve in the bathroom! Dibs!
i just realized i dont have a sober facebook picture since 2007
The EMTs said they would give me as many blankets as I wanted if I didn't pee in the ambulance. They even turned on the sirens.
we tried to steal a tractor last night. you should have come out.
So after this weekend I think I'm gonna go down on one knee and propose to my boyfriend that he give me his liver.
Asking the homeless man what buss shelter is the warmest was not a good idea
I feel like we need a drunken piñata bash with your face being the piñata and my hopes and dreams being the stick
We need to get you laid. Or i fear you might explode like a firework of sexual innuendos and unfulfilled erotic fantasies.
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
Your feet probs hurt bc the cab driver kicked us out a mile from home after you wouldn't stop screaming "prohibition can suck my dick"
How will you ever teach your dogs to pee outside when the biggest puddle on your bedroom carpet is from you?
Depends how u look at it. Half-full, half-empty, or how should I shave my pubes
You stocked up?
No actually didn’t get a chance. If you wouldn’t mind bringing me a brownie and a bottle of Jameson that’d be nice
Randomize
