turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
Last night you told her she was rocking the beer gut. Still wondering why you have that black eye?
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
just start off by saying "hey, i cockblocked my friend last night and need to make it up to him, could you help?"
Thank God I didn't lose my virginity to that asshole. That woulda been like winnin a raffle ticket for a free bag of dog shit. But with like a really pretty bag. A pretty bag full of dog shit.
We're gonna have horrible, horrible babies.
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
Please tell me joes at work safe and sound and doesn't smell like jail?
We didn't have sex because he locked himself in the bathroom and passed out while he was taking a shit. I cuddled with his cat.
First of all you can never say anal too much. Second I now think you're a total gentleman.
Rarely has that paragraph ever been put together
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
I've officially slept through a hurricane, a tornado and had sex during an earthquake. I'm surviving.
i saved a drunk oompa loompa he was passed out on the lawn and i picked him up figured out where he lived and put him in his bed and wrote his roommate a note
he's trapped himself under a bed and is screaming at a robot dog to give him a blowjob
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