we screwed to my bar mtzvah tape, I became a man while watching myself becom a man
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
they fed me a peach. i was laying on the floor telling them how beautiful they were
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
Oh I already celebrated valentine's day. I stayed up until 4 AM listening to biggie, drinking rum, and caressing all my girl curves in front of the mirror. And then I came 3 times.
I found a lucrative side business - giving rides home to drunk oil executives. Very profitable.
Donating $10 to Sandy victims for every hurricane I drink tomorrow. Buying me alcohol just became a good cause.
Just got into a fight with a trashcan, today is obviously not going to be my day.
Girl, we were harassing people from the top of a building. I don't know how I got down, but I'm eating chocolate cake in my kitchen. Sall good yo.
well all i have to say, besides fuck you, is YOU try assembling ikea shelves while high on molly.
Why do I have "apologize to Dave Coulier" written on my hand?
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
Look fucker, my sensibility and attention to detail is the ONLY REASON you're not dead now
Randomize
