I think scott just propositioned me for sex
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
He was standing in the front door with a kareoke machine yelling at the neighbors as the unloaded their van
his dad came out and found me sleeping indian style on the couch with my cup balancing on my boobs. didn't spill a drop.
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
That's what my new years consisted of. Consoling heartbroken girls and having people throw up in my hands.
Ps I just used the "If you give a mouse a cookie" defense in a real life situation. Suck it
I am naked in a blanket sprawled on my bed eating a pastry. This is all I want out of life. Ever.
There may or may not be an ass shaped dent in the hood of my car. All I know is windshield wipers aren't as sturdy as you think to hold onto.
Are cops allowed to hit on you if they're in uniform?! Serious question.
You would think a husband, a boyfriend, and a vibrator would be enough. But sadly it's not
I took it as a sign from the lord above that she wanted me to creep on these men.
I have blood and BBQ sauce all over my shirt. I blame you for the blood.
Yeahh. im on the phone with him drunk. he told me he found a pigeon in a cardboard box and named it quincy...
Randomize
