so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
Kristen just told everyone at the bar that I've got a huge dick, now Brittany is giving me the eye. What is the opposite of FML?
I just ran from Santa Claus in Kroger
she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
he had the kids march single file in front of us on the way home so they didn't have to watch him pulling me passed out in their wagon...
I heard an explosion in the backyard. You told me you were playing "will it burn".
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
You paid a stripper $40 to choke me out last night.
There is a high possibility I will pass out with my hand in a bag of Doritos
My brain and heart say thanks but my vagina isn't super pleased with you right now
Her mom came in and passed out drunk on the floor next to us while she was riding me, "it's all good, she does this all the time" is what she said
Randomize
