...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
This is your Morning Wood Report: I have it.
i get turned down more than a collar. where are the desperate bitches i need to crawl to them
Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
i came out of the bathroom and he had christmas lights wrapped up his leg, around his boner, and down the other side
Those motion detector trash cans don't work fast enough to catch puke.
Are you being sarcastic? I can't tell this time because you're in the hospital.
can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
Hey do you know who I showed my dick to at the bar last night?
My roommate comes home screaming, I brought you home a friend! I thought she brought me a guy...no, she brought home a one-eyed shih tzu.
Im invoking the "no judgements" clause of our friendship.
My god, what have you done?
QUIT RUINING DICK PICTURE DAY
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
tinder day one and i already had more guys message me about "the girl with the big tits in my second picture" than about me. MY 17 YEAR OLD SISTER CAN GET LAID WITHOUT EVEN HAVING TO MAKING A PROFILE
to be fair she does have a great rack
He had a tattoo of a crown above his penis. He was AMAZING! It was well deserved. LONG LIVE THE KING!
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