Here's my recipe for happiness. Go get a pen. 1. smoke a bowl 2. put on explosions in the sky 3. take a bath. Do this for about 1 hour or until all your problems go away.
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
WHY ARE YOU POKING HOLES IN MY 3AM LOGIC?!
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
Trial is expected to last a fucking week if I get chosen.
To be fair, you are the kind of person I want to be on the jury when I inevitably end up in front of one.
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
he literally referred to his penis as the alaskan bull worm from spongebob. when can we get married
I fucked my ex boyfriend to get shrooms for you guys
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
I just had sex on my divorce papers. I've never felt so poetic.
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
He fucked me so hard my hair extensions fell out
He was cute in a Sketchy-trying-to-sell-you-a-vaccum-at-9-at-night kinda way.
I'm at this party and a blind kid just walked in and asked "where is the fucking pong table"
Apologies that our conversations always turn to butt sex or penis size. I thought we out grew that in our 20's.
I woke up while she was taking a panoramic photo of my morning wood
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