Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
Listen, Pinot Grigio got me pregnant. It can get you a boyfriend.
Beer is about to convince me to do something really stupid.
Only you could manage to look like a complete slut while wearing a turtle neck.
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
The bouncer yelled at him for poking at the guy selling roses, I think it's time to leave.
I'm basically your average "grandpa stuck in a 28 year old woman's body" - i'm super passionate about retirement and crossing on the walk signal.
and SLEEP god I love sleep
I was about to google "rabies and sexual activity." Then I realized I was at work.
For dinner, I'm having saltines, canned whipped cream, and beer. Are we sure I'm responsible enough for home ownership?
He's being awfully beer snobby for a guy who ordered salad
What are best friends for?
Picking your clothes up from a one night stand you had nearly 2 months ago
They walked into the house to see me in my neon pink knee high socks trying to pull you out of the cat carrier by your legs...
By the time we got to McDonald's you were sharing a Big Mac with a stripper.
Just did the "lost my phone, need #'s" post and I got a text saying "go ahead and save me as Ashley-DD because I know you will anyway. I think I love her.
Randomize
