I wish "capable of destroying an innocent girl's life" is something I could put on my resume
Why is there bacon braided in my hair
I'm setting a 12:15 alarm for a taco bell run. Be awake or never wake up again.
It'd be a romantic, consensual abduction
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
My underwear said "hard to get" on the butt. He laughed when he took them off.
Get in your clown car, pick up everyone you know, and head to the park. drunk Sledding grand prix tonight. winner takes home the leftover beer
Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture.
I am not getting you a goat.
Fair enough. I am not going out with you. The goat was not negotiable.
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
I wrote "fuck you meg" on my toaster strudel with the icing. I call it "passive aggressive breakfast"
So much Jack, so little girl.
I woke up in the basement of a pizza restaurant... I would say the tequila hit me pretty hard.
What happened last night dude?
YOU SHIT ON MY FUCKING COFFE TABLE THATS WHAT FUCKING HAPPENED!!!
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