He just turned on a sound machine. I need to get the fuck out of here.
no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
When you wake up, I have rum and am in town
Oscar is the man. He keeps getting pictures of hot nude women with messages in spanish saying "i hope you like it" sent to his phone
whose oscar?
the baller who i guess decided to give out a fake number at the bar last weekend. luckily that fake number was mine. i have enough porn to last me until next month.
I want a vodka facial right about now. I'm talking about straight vodka bukkake
...just for future reference, one Four Loko can fits PERFECTLY in a venti iced coffee cup from Starbucks
Being drunk at the hospital is better than i expected. I got to hide and play in the little kids waiting area. Btw no one is hurt
He just came into the room wearing nothing but a Speed Racer helmet. I think he just invented a fetish.
Sweet. I'm actually coaching my work study into a 4-girl orgy so dinner was kinda important. Yes, I'm the best boss ever.
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
bartering with my concussed boyfriend to eat food with blowjobs
I smoked my last bong as the sun rose. It was magical.
Can I get my morals surgically removed?
Randomize
