Whod you bang
a dead guy is trying to sell me oxy clean on my tv
i got turned down by a girl after she saw how big my penis was and she said "thats not goin in me"
the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
I just witnessed two drunk midgets fighting over a graham cracker. I can die happy now.
If I wanted to fuck someone, I'd go for John. I'm meeting Bryan cuz I wanna get to know him better. And eventually fuck him. But not this Tuesday.
The magic cards should have been the first clue. The comments that I have "amazing birthing hips" and that I'm "beautiful in a child bearing sort of way just sealed his fate.
I promise not to drug you or anything. Please come to my birthday party.
Just a heads up... Don't get high and attempt to do your own taxes
He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.
Oh I was gonna ask you the same thing...? It's official ask anyone to see your husbands dick day.
You think he will forgive me for the paper being a week late if I bring him a beer?
...it's a 9am class...
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
I decided to have a date tonight. Back on horse I go. Or aiming to be on a horse cock one day. You know. However that metaphor goes.
STAY IN YOUR APARTMENT. DONT GO TO SAFEWAY TO BUY CONDOMS. DONT GO TO THE VAN.
Randomize
