i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
he's my edward cullen
I am pretty sure Edward Cullen never had an all-day drinking binge topped off with some blow.
The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.
That baby is bound to be under-loved.
omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
I just want dick. Yours just gets priority because it is glorious
I managed to make myself a bowl of apple jacks, took one bite and had to stop eating them because they were making my brain wiggle. How was your comedown?
I told him I was very thankful for what his country has done to my vagina and walked away.
Did you leave a mouse under my pillow again?
When you didn't respond I figured you must be busy so I'm home in my pj's 2 beers in and stoned from weed I got from my gaybours. They also gave me cake. I'm not moving from this recliner.
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
I've realized that my life is a cycle of high that is only broken by sobering up at work, which only happens because I can't smoke more
when ur drunk laser tag is all fun n games. try it high and all of the aliens in the galaxy want you dead.
I’m vetoing meatball margaritas right out the gate. We can’t have people throwing up again!
Randomize
