did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
I'm not sure what happened last night, but I have someone stored in my phone as 'Aftershock'
Do you ever just think "I could really go for a good 30 minute blowjob". I do. Everytime jill smiles.
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
She's riding a tiny four-wheeler and has a Dos Equis in her hand. I at least have to meet her.
She's popping painkillers like they're tic tacs and singing the soundtrack to dreamgirls. It's you're turn to babysit her.
OH DEAR GOD. He looks like if u licked him he'd taste like bourbon, sex and sunshine.
I can't. I think his penis is about to take out a restraining order against me.
She brought over her portable harddrive and we dueled with porn. This relationship is too beautiful to last.
Oh Jesus our whore days are numbered
I was trying to come up with a reason why you shouldn't be naked in front of me, and now I have 'If you give a mouse a cookie" stuck in my head
you smell like vanilla and daddy issues
I woke up with my converse still on and a plate of pasta next to my face, if that gives you any indication of how my night went
how the FUCK did i spend 25 dollars at 50 cent beer night?
Randomize
