Is it a bad sign when i blow my nose && can smell vodka?
Say something about gay babies.
New discovery: doing the Helen Keller is not as attractive as I thought it would be, in reference to the sex noises.
You were mumbling a lot and offered me 20 dollars to leave you alone
Can you check your dirty laundry bag for my tooth.
He would stand there for a few seconds with a blank look on his face then randomly start running full sprint towards macdonalds. We'd catch him and he'd promise to stop so we'd let him go and he'd do it again.
I got the number from the girl at uhaul even after she saw me throw up all over the parking lot with a 6 pack in my hands.
I have to deal with three things I do not like this weekend. Pooping in toilets that are not mine. Air mattresses. Not beating off in the shower.
All i'm saying is it doesn't matter how drunk you were, at 26 years of age you should always remember to take down you pants before you shit in the toilet
your vagina must have magic restorative powers I feel rested and powerful this morning.
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
You need to get laid. You spent last night stumbling through the club pulling couples apart and telling them to leave room for Jesus.
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
Ok maybe now I get why I'm single I think I just broke a rib pooping
Dad is celebrating turning 45 by being drunk in a department store before two o'clock.
Randomize
