also, i may or may not be wearing a cape right now. hint: i am.
So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
my mom just told me how she used to love having sex while stoned. wtf.
Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
its raining. im dressed as yoda and im trick or treating alone. and i wonder why im still a virgin..
I told her I was team Edward. I haven't gotten laid that easy since I told your sister that I had cancer
we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
I woke up covered in blue paint and my knee bleeding, when I went to return the shopping cart the guy in the elevator laughed hysterically. I'm having a good morning.
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
My dad just asked Siri to "help me find my daughters dignity."
If you were my daughter, I'd do the same thing.
Ummmm you know you're drinking vodka out of a Skittles bag, right?
Like a gentleman I waited until you were done vomming to start my Big Mac.
you can tell a lot about a person by the quality of their porn
He's eating a sriracha ravioli sandwich. How do you think the night is going?
Randomize
