i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
Okay so if I'm going to keep referring to my hangover in the third person it needs a name.
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
In case this wasn't clear when i said being his wingman was "hopeless", his date walked out on him when he poured a beer on his head trying to shotgun it
when i tried to put the condom on he started screaming about how he didn't want his groceries bagged
But he made me breakfast and understands the fuck sleep fuck sleep necessities
Lots of alcohol. 3rd graders fuck me now.
Auto correct or actual 3rd graders?
The air was thick with penises
I got a thank you card in the mail from the virgin i slept with on the camping trip. Weird or the new classy?
Dude. I realize why I got sick. 8 shots three beers in an hour. Plus I ate an expired lunchable earlier.
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
Listen I took a family sized bottle of merlot to the face last night and there's an svu marathon on. Give me some time please.
We had a One Night Stand 6 months ago but he just Facebook invited me to his wedding. Who the fuck does that.
You know it's been a rough week when you funnel beers by yourself.
Randomize
