pretty sure I just motor boated my professor at the drag show
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
You were in the garage half naked counting your ribs and talking about how you had too many
I know I said I was done dating 22 year olds but it's not my fault all the guys my age gave up on life and got fat
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
I just want you to sit on my face and to tell you you're pretty. Most girls would leap at this opportunity.
Passing out is my livers way of protecting my mind.
Do you remember trying to make pizzas with the domino workers last night...while trying to speak their language with them.. spanish?
Technically ya I did. Hes tried to get down my pants like 3 times now and every time I have been all "these are not the Droids you are looking for"
i hope you're proud of yourself! i just had to ask my boss to put ointment on the rugburn on my back. clothes hurt!
Fine I'll cuddle you but only for the purpose of trying to survive
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
im bringing home some absinth and some holy water. one way or another things are going to get spiritual.
I lysoled the money\n(631): wrong text lmao
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