Firetruck pulls up, fireman jumps out n knocks on my door, asks "do you know where Johnny lives?"
so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
you know you've made it when it's your own pool table you're waking up on
The tent wall coming unstaked in the wind and hitting me in the face really sobered me up
it was like that last scene in "It's A Wonderful Life" but with alcohol
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
She gained 35 lbs and has an ankle bracelet, time for new booty call.
Dude. He put me on a rewards point system for his dick. I have to do him favors now to build up to winning sex. This is shit.
gladiator or hannah montana?
This is why I never have to ask who you are when I get a new phone.
I had to make out with him. He bought me a few drinks and he was an Angels fan. As a Yankee fan that was my way of saying good game and sorry we beat the shit out of you
My bed smells like stale sex...I want it to smell like fresh sex, I miss you.
My backyard is filled with beer cans. You idiots turned our backyard into a redneck ball-pit
No. No. Fuck you! You can do your own grocery shopping.
Randomize
