I'm eating all of the evidence.
you tried to tell me that ice cream had no calories because they were "frozen"
Im def. not watching the CMAs. If Kanyes not gonna be there whats the point?
she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
And I'm PMSing. So if I'm not crying, I'm masturbating.
I don't talk to her anymore. I lit her birthday presents on fire. Who the fuck puts candles that close to tissue paper?
I just walked in on my roommates playing baseball with old vegetables and a bigass knife.
Is asking my 8-year-old brother if he will make us shot glasses in his ceramics class too far?
Is it too early to start a donation jar for my 4th of july hospital bills?
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
I may or may not already be in your hot tub when you get home. I have a key to your house and no shame.
This stupid maranara sauce stain sucks. It keeps distracting me and it looks like I'm staring at my tits.
There arew tilmes ina man's life when christmaas. THerew are times in a man's lfie when drunk texts from a bathrom hyufgirto. So, you know, merry chriastmans.
Snow days are when you really appreciate that your neighbor is on your bang roster.
Whose the chick running for dorm president promising bigger dicks and softer toilet paper? That’s who I m voting for
Randomize
