Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
On blowjobs: "If you decide to go there, you finish the job. No complaining." I don't care if it sounds like she's talking about Iraq, I'm in love.
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
successfully started a charcoal grill with 2 shots of everclear and some aluminum foil. i never wanna leave here
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
If I have to take him to the hospital, I'm drawing dicks on his face
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
Also, we accidentally donated a bong to goodwill
I need a therapist, but moreover we are going to be really drunk.
Finally better. I had to use eye makeup remover to get the purple wine stains off my lips
Free tacos and bad night are never used in the same sentence
You get to be the grown up. Leave a ciabatta by his face.
We need large glitter to throw at people to signify our mystic nature
Fuck their feelings and their drinks they will get hit with sparkly confetti
His favorite stripper is going to jail. He's taking it pretty hard
His dick isn't even good enough to be this much of an asshole
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