Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
Fact: The drinking you do in college doesn't affect your liver in real life.
Did I tell you that you looked cute last night? I looked at the pictures. I lied.
His penis has a special gift of curing my broken heart
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
You know the party was great when the birthday girl gets arrested
The homeless guy out front said it's his birthday and he asked us to join him for happy hour after work. He's buying a fifth of gin to celebrate.
I woke up to him using my debit card to order PPV porn and Jimmy Johns. I don't even know his name.
I heard you were walking home with taylor with your dress completely up and your ass exposed
Yeah, that sounds like my life.
I just watched the lion king for the first time in years. It's like the equivalent of a really good blow job.
i like feelif swiord YOU ARE A GOD
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
Like 50% of me thinks it'll be weird, 25% of me is curious & 25% of me is horny
third nipple confirmed
Randomize
