Only at my house do scrabble games turn into fist fights. I won though... the fight not the board game.
i'm not going because i feel like it's just gunna be a "this is your life" who i banged this years addition
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
he drunk texted me to give me his number with the message "i gotchu pretty eyeso" i can't tell if he's complimenting me or himself.
I've been laying here all day wondering why my back hurt so bad and then I remembered last night.... When you pushed me through that glass table.
I'm FaceTiming Pizza Hut.
Was asked out on a date tonight on Linked In. That creepy genius at apple that touched my butt one time in the back stairwell. I thinks it's fair to say I've hit rock bottom.
i woke up at 4 pm face down on my hardwood living room floor. i would say its a new low but i think I found my new napping spot
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
Remember that guy I fucked last month? Well I'm watching his dog this weekend while he's in the Bahamas with his girlfriend. What is my life
Thanks for DJing my sex last night. You were on point 💜
so you can go out and drink with me then fuck me, or you can come over when i get home and fuck me, or you can come over before and fuck me, or you can come over before and after and fuck me... so many fucking options
You poured all their beer into ziploc baggies so it would be "better on the go"
Randomize
