Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
So, halfway through sex he stops and starts crying. He said he's worried god hates him for all his bad decisions...think he meant to imply I was one of them...
Is it weird I want to fuck the cartoon chick from e-surance??
you told me your penis was albino and it couldnt be exposed to light so you needed to keep it in me
Just got blown whilst getting my high score on bejeweled blitz. There's still a month and a half left of summer and my bucket list is empty...
So the bartender just told me that there was numerous people who saw me having sex on the rooftop last weekend. +1
He tried to cuddle with me after we hooked up and i just looked at him and said why are you still here?
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
I was changing in front of my window and my neighbor text me saying, "nice pubes."
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
You were passed out by the toliet and when i said i had to pee you told me to piss in the sink. Never has a girl with alcohol poisoning been so rude.
Had a dream I went to Disney to visit you and then I got really drunk and puked all over these little kids in line
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
Randomize
