I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
They left shortly after you claimed the dirty rug as your mattress and began alternating between singing "Dayman" and "Nightman"
I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
Just spun two beer bottles and Placed them in my pockets perfect... I feel like the clint eastwood of drunks
Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
There is a 15" subwoofer mounted inside our fridge. I've never been more proud of myself.
You were almost as fucked up as I was the night I hooked up with a bob saget look alike...
Single person behavior: I wanted a cookie but was too lazy to make or go buy any, so I let cookie dough ice cream melt and ate all the chunks. Pantsless.
Oh and my new excuse for not being able to hook up is cholera, feel free to use it
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
I kid you not. He let me in into his house, showed me the putt putt in his backyard. Offered to play me.
Dude I'm fucking tired of freshman, there are god damn teeth marks on my dick again
Randomize
