i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
tod's in jail
he was afraid of holiday checkpoints so we let him ride my mom's tandem bike home. by himself. at 4 am.
Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
Dear vodka that I hid in a water bottle in the backseat of Blairs car, I'm sorry that she gave you away to a man on side of the road with an over heated engine. I'm sure the car doesn't appreciate you as much as I would have.
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
Nahh no judgin. Compliments to the balls are always heartfelt
I had to get my boss birth control a work today. I knew going to ASU would come in handy in my career someday.
I just had to pick up my "let's drink and make bad choices" hat, my banana suit and beer pong table from work. Until just then I couldn't figure out why I got fired.
Today I learned I and my bar naps were the subject of a bar meeting.
Sharknado 3 is going to bring us to alcoghol poisonign
If the smell of things stopped me from putting things in my mouth. I wouldn't be popular with Grindr guys.
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
Last night was great... In the "I got videotaped making out and getting a handjob on the couch in front of 100 people." kinda way.
Randomize
