I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
I think my mom's writing a book called how to fuck with your kids when you know they're high
I woke up to 30 angry texts and her Chihuahua in my room. Can you drop him off for me?
Spent 30 minutes in the board meeting trying to figure out where the foul smell was coming from. Thought it was the guy's feet sitting next to me. Then i uncrossed my legs. Turns out it was my vagina. Thank goodness for travel size febreeeze.
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
This milkshake tastes better than sex. Priorities, I have them.
please tell me why my pillow is wearing your thong...
...i wondered where i left that...
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
No night ever ends well that starts with "you know what this needs? More tequila".
I don't remember... but puking on the bar sounds like me.
I want you to know that the guy who peed in your bed got fat.
I almost don't wanna have sex with her because I'm afraid she'll steal my hat
I'm currently trying to figure out a way to fill the bathtub up with mashed potatoes so when he comes over he'll know what's about to hit him..
A massage should never include spaghetti sauce. shit was fucked up
Randomize
