As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.
I wish life had little blips of pornography
Oh my god. Just had sex with this girl on the boardroom table at my work at midnight (win!) just realized I left the condom wrapper on the table (lose!)
As per my father's affair, married men are no longer off limits.
Sometimes when I see a shoe on the side of the road, I get a little depressed that I've never partied that hard.
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
Please don't let me drink ever again. I apparently told him he could stay but as there was no room in the bed he'd have to lie on top of me and he'd need to anchor himself on with his penis so he didn't fall off.
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
I just used a VHS tape as a plate for sanwich
I need an inhaler full of pot for all of this breathless rage.
i think the realest test of our friendship is how hot your sister looks right now
I'm talking to this guy I met online about French toast. I am the oddest fucking combination of hungry and horny. Wtf brain.
It's weird having sex with someone you actually like
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