i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
Apparently I kept telling the bartender that I was going to set the Guinness World Record.
I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
Ummm. I just wanna say this now: Don't let me invite the band back to the apartment to see my stripper pole.
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
Found myself carrying 2 bottles of .89 euro wine about half a mile to where im staying. and someone stopped me and spoke to english. apparently, i reek of drunk american.
nah we got kicked outta the bar after the bouncer saw us putting straws up Chelsea's nose to make her look like a walrus after she fell asleep at the table
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
i made sure not to drool on your bed by putting my hoodie on backwards and swaddling my face in the hood
I found you in the bathroom. You were sitting cross-legged on the floor wearing nothing but socks completely surrounded by broken crayons.
The cleaning lady has moved my vibrator twice now so I would say I'm pretty ready to move out.
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
Hi I am too sober and out of rum. Translation: I owe you some beer. Also, get better taste in beer.
Is it counter productive to ride on my exercise bike with a cocktail in hand?
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