worse things have happened to me. but if it will make you feel better you can pay for my therapist sessions next week.
not only did i climb through the window at 4 am but here i am 4 hours later for my interview at the mall and i'm staring in the dark pet store barking at puppies
It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
I just had my first non-cocaine-induced nosebleed for the first time in 2 years. This calls for a celebration.
But the guy you're fucking should not be within ten pounds of your weight when you're five fucking feet tall and he's 6'2". That's all I'm saying.
Moral of the story is go have sex with a foreigner and report back to me.
I bet Billy Ray Cyrus wishes he had pulled out now....
I really appreciate you taking the time to blur out my excessive boob cleavage for instagram
We fucked. Had a political debate. I won. So I sat on his face.
Aww his grandma died? That's sad! No mourning sex!!! That doesn't lead to good things!
I need some buff guys to cuddle me and call me precious
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
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